Infinitely Random

Scared as fuck

Saw him outside of moonleaf. We talked quite a bit. And we both smiled a lot. I wore a skirt. I think I probably looked really dumb that time. Too bad I was in a hurry. But hey, at least I got to talk to him for just a little while even though both of us were just dumbfounded. Especially me. :)

I was thinking that maybe when I get rich enough. I would celebrate my parents’ anniversary by having them go through another wedding. Probably a garden wedding. And then during their first dance together, this would be playing.

Duyog.

It’s Visayan Pop.

I could see it in my mind. My mom in her wedding dress with her wedding bouquet in hand. Flowers in her hair. A good pair of white step ins. My father in his suit, tie, and leather shoes. My mom’s hands in his. They’re waiting for the music to play so they could dance the first dance of their second wedding. To make it more special, my sister and I would probably sing this song together with her boyfriend’s band accompanying us and, hopefully, the singer too - assuming I haven’t gone broke by then.They both slow dance together in the middle of guests and chairs that circle them. I know they would both be smiling at our gift.

“Ikaw akong kahapon

Ikaw akong karun

Ikaw akong kanunay”

Duyog - VisPop - Jewel and Joe Villaflores

That’s it. Nothing more. It explains everything.

Damn. Being a writer and a student sucks! It gets me really busy and there’s those deadlines! I suck at deadlines Urgh -_-

todayscarolinian.net

Django Unchained is making me scared. :(

The intensity is too much.

I cannot take it!

Django Fucking Unchained.

DJANGO FUCKING UNCHAINED.

This movie is giving me shivers up my spine.

It’s been bothering me a lot. But my friend didn’t say goodbye or waved at me even when our other friends were waving like there was no tomorrow at me. D:

I spent a lot of time just looking over posts tagged with ‘naruto’ in them. I was trying to distract myself because I was pretty upset with what I had written. I ended up crying anyway. The feels just got to me.

I am not a good writer yet I was asked to make an article about this national event that happened in school and what I could say about it and stuff like that. I was not confident with what I was typing or writing but I did it anyway because when duty calls - duty calls so I did it.

And guess how the paper went? It was like me. Emotional. Totally like me. It sucked. It wasn’t even worthy of praise. It’s not worthy of anything. I just wrote 2,286 words. But they mean nothing.

I guess I haven’t honed any skills at all. I really should be learning.

Thank You to the people who believe in me. 

Thank You to the people who give me the little praises.

Thank You to the people who tell me I’m good at the things I do.

Thank You to the people who laugh with me and not at me.

Thank You to the people who acknowledge me.

Thank You to the people who think I am worth more.

Thank You to the people who remind me to breathe.

Thank You to the people who slap the sense into me.

Thank you to the people who allow me to grow.

You give meaning to my existence so that I am able to tell everyone that I am living. My existence has been acknowledge. And I have never felt so accomplished. So content. So ambitious.

Tell me, why is it when the church gets offended by the ramblings of that of a common man they can sue such a man?

And let me ask again, how come in all those times that the common man was offended by the church, the common man cannot sue the church that has offended him?

Am I making sense here? I am so bad at constructing sentences.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s kinda unfair that the church gets to sue someone just because they got offended. What about all those times that they have offended their parish goers?

I seldom go to church because the moment I do, I hear a phrase or a sentence or a rant about something that I believe to be quite insulting to me as a person who has her own personal set of beliefs and values. But do I go ahead and sue them because they have insulted my being? No. I don’t. Instead, I go out. And I let them rant all they want without letting it affect the personal opinions I have on points that we disagree on. Why? Because they have a right to their own opinion and I am entitled to mine, as well.

When I hear people rant about how wrong it was for a certain man to stand up against the church and its dogma, I question their rationality. I mean, really? Have you forgotten what the church has done to us to the past? Have you forgotten how their practices have silenced our fellow filipinos from getting the justice they deserve?

How come the people or the masa think it’s okay to condemn a man who gives his personal opinions straight up in the church’s face but fall silent and fail to condemn the men of the church who have committed far more heinous crimes than the men who have voiced their opinions? What about those men of the church who have raped, tortured, discriminated the women and children of our society? 

People should really question the church more often. Our society is not progressing because it is stuck in a parochial society - constantly being blind sighted by the church. Decisions become mandates of the church but not based on rationally informed choices. And we keep complaining about how stuck we are in this backward society.

It’s annoying.

A famous explorer once said, that the extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are. I’d finally set out to make my mark, to find adventure. But instead adventure found me. In our darkest moments, when life flashes before us, we find something. Something that keeps us going. Something that pushes us. When all seemed lost, I found truth. And I knew what I must become.